Ohhhhhh yeah... that was fun. And a LOT of work. Also? My teens are rude. This is going to be a LONG post. Scroll down to find the segment you need.. Quick Planning Links All about the App Fooooooood Crafty Packing Fun The Disney Ditty Bag Comfort The Gimme Gimmes Lost Kid Prevention Room Organization Quick Planning LinksMy massive Amazon shopping list. The hotel we stayed at: Home2 Suites by Hilton We always fly Alaska from Seattle I do rent a car, with Enterprise I always get my tickets through aRes Travel All About the App!  You will use this to track ALL THE THINGS. It holds your tickets to the parks and the reservations for the parks. (YES you need both... if you just buy tickets but don't reserve your dates to enter the parks, you're fucked). The app is where you find wait times for rides (and which rides are closed), it's how you get into the virtual queues for the rides that are expected to be insanely popular, it is where you get reservations for dining and how you order food to get at the walk-up windows, it's where you keep track of whatever Genie or Lightning Lane things you want to use, or the DAS (Disability Access Services) pass that we utilize. Quick note about the DAS pass: If anyone in your family has an invisible disability (ASD, PTSD, chronic pain) then this pass is for you. I have surgical screws in my feet and standing for hours on end is a no-go. We have a friend who is a Military vet and has PTSD so standing in some lines (Indiana Jones) is just not going to happen. This pass can be secured ahead of time or you can get it at city hall when you get to the park. It is linked to the ticket of the person with the disability and extends to cover all in your party (within reason). What this does is virtually holds your place in line while you sit or go on another ride with a shorter line. It works on ANY ride in the park. There is one kiosk per land and you have to walk up to that kiosk, stand in line and then tell them what ride you want to be placed in line for. (Each kiosk can place you in ANY ride line so you don't need to be in Tomorrowland to get in line for Star Tours... you can do that at the kiosk by Haunted Mansion). They will scan your ticket first and then your app will populate with enough passes for your party to return to the DAS entrance (usually near the exit) after a specified time (however long that line currently is estimated to be). You cannot be in 2 lines at once (morally sketchy anyways) and if you do opt to get into a different line before going on the ride you're "in line" for, those passes are wiped. I was able to screen shot the ride-specific DAS passes and send them to my kids that were across the park if I was resting and decided I wasn't going to go on the ride. (In other news: fuck surgical screws) You need the app. It's free. Don't fight me. Just download it. Spend an hour figuring it out. You're welcome. Fooooooooood Breakfast: Make it easy, get a hotel that has free breakfast. Coffee: Iced Starbucks jugs in our fridge, ice machine at the hotel, creamer, reusable cups. There are multiple Starbucks' in the parks and in Downtown Disney but the lines were absurd and I wasn't going to make my kids sit with me through that. Lunch: We packed it in!!! Because our kids are a good mix of teens and tweens, and we travelled parallel with another large family, our kids packed lunches individually so they could eat whenever they were ready and with whomever they were with. The week before arrival, I plugged the address of the hotel into my Amazon Fresh and ordered a week's worth of lunch foods, snacks, iced coffee supplies and post-park-hard-seltzers. It was sitting at the front desk when we walked in fresh off the plane. The Home2Suites has a kitchen in each room and we got 2 adjoining rooms to make sure we had enough space for everyone. With 2 kitchens, we were able to make the one in the kids' room was stocked with snacks they had access to while we were in the room and ours held the "save for lunches", coffee and booze. Dinner: We budgeted to eat in the park every night. We could have cooked in the room but... meh. No. MAKE RESERVATIONS AHEAD OF TIME. If you don't, you aren't completely hosed in regards to eating... or even getting into spots like Oga's Cantina or Blue Bayou. Blue Bayou has a cancellation list but there is virtually NO notice... you have to be ready to eat elsewhere but if your entire party is with you and you pass the host kiosk, just ask. If they have no-shows, they want to fill those tables and you might get lucky. The app is your friend for other places... we were able to get into Oga's with an hours notice. Every time we walked by the Cantina, I checked my app. Most of the time it said "Walk up list is full" but I got lucky once and snagged a table for 4. You have to be NEXT TO the cantina... the app has a proximity setting. Once you book your reservation you can wander around though. Other dining help: There are sites that will watch for dining reservations for you and alert you when there are cancellations but I was never fast enough. Every time I got an alert and got to the reservation page, I got a picture of a sad looking "Lady and the Tramp" eating their spaghetti. Boo. Crafty Packing Fun The Dollar Tree is your friend for MOST things "fun". They have Disney coloring books, art supplies (DO NOT get the shitty crayons), puzzles, books, hand sanitizer, tissues, dehydrated wash cloths and other random things. Use your best judgement here and don't buy stuff you know will be a waste on your kids. I did get cheap-ish backpacks for each of my kids to store all of their things for travel. Water bottle and snacks for the plane, devices and chargers, etc. I also popped into Etsy and bought Disney iron on patches for each kid's pack that reflected their favorite characters. I did NOT put the kids' names on the bag because that is a big anti-kidnapping no-no. I put together art kits for all 5 kids to use on the plane and when they had downtime in the room. (check the Amazon list for things I loved) I also unwrapped EVERYTHING I bought, including puzzles, and put them in the zippered pouches in that Amazon list. You'll be glad you did when you see the piles of garbage you make ahead of time and not in the park or on the plane. Lines are long. Kids get bored. Most of mine have devices but for the times when they didn't want to use them or were needing something else, I had a secret bag in my backpack with: Trivia game cards, Hot wheels, fidgets, bubbles and Zollipops. What are Zollipops? Ohhhh.... you need those fuckers. Invented by a kid, they are lollipops free of crap and they use Xylitol so they are actually good for teeth. (yes they're on my amazon list) I made custom lunch sacks for our kids because I'm a dork. I got personalized embroidered ear patches from Etsy and a pile of red and black insulated lunch sacks for $1.67 each on Oriental trading co. Ironed them on (careful not to melt the bag) and I made some for our parallel family's kids too! Backup battery packs... I labeled these with my cricut to keep the kids from getting them mixed up if they "forgot" to charge their own pack. I thought up 6 "power" objects and printed decals. Hehehe. I went a LITTLE crazy preparing... (yeah, Matthew I see the eyebrow raise at "little"). I actually ended up with so many things for my kids that I kept them a surprise, wrapped them up the week before we left and they got to open a gift each day before we left. Art kits, disney socks, the ditty bag, a disney toiletry bag, books... it was a little bananas but we all had fun!   The Disney Ditty BagOkay, this was probably the best thing I did. Being raised by an avid mountain-climber-mom, the Ditty Bag was a constant in my childhood so I made one for each of my kids. Most of this is in my Amazon list. I used the Bumkin's sandwich bags because they are PUL and Disney printed.
Yes I had one for myself and my husband. Ours included muscle relaxers, aleve, children's advil, benadryl and backup medications for all the kids.
Comfort
The Gimme Gimme'sKids will want everything they see. All of it. We curb the "mommy can I have that?" in general in our family by each kid having their own debit card through GreenLight. We had lots of chats before our trip and each kid saved so they had money to spend. Then we looked super generous and awesome when we bought them random things in the parks. Their grandparents also gave them each a gift card before we went which came in double handy when one kid lost their Greenlight card. (I was able to pull the money off his card through my app and put it onto his gift card, PHEW) Pin Trading!!!! We buy a "lot" of Official Disney pins on Amazon (I bought 60 pins for maybe $45) and let the kids pick the ones they wanted. These were NOT meant to be kept... these were currency for better pins inside the park. Anywhere you see a kiosk with pins for sale, you will see a foam board with pins stuck to it. Those pins on the board are free to trade with any official pin you might have with you. My kids had a BLAST picking out better pins and they even picked out pins to trade that they gave to each other!!! They'd see a pin for trade that they knew a sibling would love and snagged it. Squished Pennies Gone are the days of hoarding pennies and quarters for those machines... the machines are still there but they take cards almost exclusively. My kids' Greenlight cards worked great here. The machines also now have a (sometimes unavoidable) option of making you buy all 3 squished coins when you use the card so beware. Also, the machines in some of the newer areas (Avengers Plaza) are now squished Quarters... yikes. Disney ears: We budgeted for each kid to buy ONE item of headware (hat or ears) and I ordered more off Etsy. The ones on Etsy ranged from $10 for some cheap knock offs to $60+ for custom pieces. If I can find it, I'll put in a pic of the Rocky Horror ears I made for our friend Ben. (Fun fact: Now that Disney owns Fox and therefore Rocky Horror Picture Show, Dr. FrankNFurter is a Disney Queen... as he's royalty on his planet.) Odds and Ends Raid goodwill for Disney gear. It took 4 trips to a few different spots but we ended up with great stuff for all of us!! I also snagged a pack of fiberoptic light up wands off Oriental trading. That was great for being in the park after dark when the carts selling $40 light up bubble wands started rolling around. I also had glow sticks for my teens and they got a kick out of those.
Lost Kid PreventionMy youngest is now 6 so we weren't too worried about losing him but I'm a paranoid ninny and still took precautions. My older 4 all have phones and we enabled location so I knew where they were. Check. For the little one, we got him a fanny pack along with his backpack. I knew he would fling his backpack all over the place and probably lose it so I kept it simple. His fanny pack was Spiderman and he LOVED it. It had his ditty bag, his squished penny book, his debit card and I got a silicone dog collar holder for and Apple Airtag and it fit perfectly on the strap. I never needed it but it gave me peace of mind when he ran off with a sibling as we trekked across the park in a large snake of humans. If you kid is a runner? Get a leash... fuck any looks from Karen-mom's. Practice the leash BEFORE you go. We also had custom temporary tattoos made with our phone number on it. These are all over etsy and I put these under the kids' clothing so they were less likely to get rubbed off. The other thing we did that was a bit atypical was playing the Xbox Disneyland game. The game is a near-exact replica of Disneyland circa 2010 (so, minus Batuu, and no California Adventure). Elijah played it enough that by the time we got to Disneyland and were standing in front of the castle, I could ask him which direction Tomorrowland was and he knew! Hotel Room Organization I also went a bit crazy making organizers for the room... and I don't think I'd do that again.
What I WOULD do again is the cheap cloth cube bins from Dollar Tree... I used those to organize the lunch packing items in the fridge and counters. I also took laundry bags because kids are disgusting and 7 pairs of sweaty park socks x 5 days in the park is just rank. I did bring tide pods with the plan of doing laundry but that never happened. Hah. I also had a pretty epic first aid station (hanging organizer in my amazon list) that had things for just about every ailment. Burns, blisters, bloody noses, covid tests, allergies, motion sickness, nausea, back pain, ace wraps... and every shape of bandaid I could find. I even brought my TENS unit and it totally got used.
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I’m so excited for this one. I love helping families find doulas that fit their vibe.
Step 1: Making a List You can use google or DoulaMatch.net to build a short list of doulas in your price range who are available for your due date. You can also filter experience by either years of practice or # of births attended on DoulaMatch. Get a vision in your head of what you want in your doula... what's the vibe you want from them? Do you want someone older than you, like a warm grandma-type? Do you want someone around your age that feels more like a sisterly presence? Peasant skirts and beads around their neck or jeans and a Star Wars t-shirt? Religious? Do you want a doula who swears? Someone who is understands sarcasm? You will be spending one of the most important days of your life with this person, so get really specific if you need to... do you want a vegan doula? Someone who's politics align with yours? Vaccination status? Once you have that vision, pop over to the websites of the doulas on your list and see which ones initially feel like they will fit that vibe. Next, you can slim your list down before the interview by requesting their vaccination status (if they decline to disclose, assume they are unvaccinated). Step 2: Setting the Interviews Decide how you want to communicate… doulas often have online schedulers which make it easy for the tech savvy generation. Others require phone calls. Be prepared for some of us to just flat out forget to respond to emails or inquiries. If you don’t get a reply and it was someone near the top of your list, try again. As a general rule, we keep odd hours and are really good at the heart work, but not always fantastic at the admin side. If having someone who is REALLY good at the admin stuff matters, this will also filter your list for you! It filters ours for sure… if we were at long birth and don’t promptly reply to an inquiry and someone gets crabby, we likely don’t want to work with them anyways. The same goes for people who get crabby when we reschedule meetings at the last minute for births. You’re hiring a doula… you gotta be flexible. Your turn at the top of our priority list will come!! If you schedule 3-4 interviews, you’ll likely find your doula. Step 3: The actual interview... what to ask? A really experienced doula will break the ice at the beginning of the meeting. We want it to be fun… the conversation should flow and it’s up to the doula to make sure we steer it towards covering all of the information we think you need to know about us and our services. You can scour the internet for lists of questions to ask doulas but I find those to be really basic and they don't usually give us a good opportunity to help you understand who we are and what we do... so with that in mind, I have a few "vibe checks" and "red flags" to keep your finger on the pulse of. 1. Vibe check: TRUST. YOUR. GUT. This is the most important. Do you like this person? If you don't click with them, or your partner doesn't click with them, you don't want them at your birth. Even if they come highly recommended by your care provider, have a list of trainings the size of my leg or have attended 500 births. If you don't mesh with their personality, they will drive you bananas while you are in labor. A doula with 15 births under their belt who just completed training 10 months ago and isn't certified yet... but makes you feel at ease and comfortable is likely a better fit. 2. Will they support the birthing preferences you have? This is an easy one... or it should be. A doula's job is to make sure you have all of the necessary information and then support all birthing choices made after that information is given. Make sure they support the big choices that are important to you... what are your plans for pain medication during labor? Where are your feelings about cesarean birth, like are you hoping to avoid it at nearly all costs or are you not super adverse and maybe even considering scheduling one? Take this opportunity to check in about your postpartum and parenting choices as well. Are you planning to take or increase medications for mental health postpartum? Do you plan to breastfeed or are you choosing formula and bottles? Are you planning to circumcise a baby boy? Make sure you disclose this as a filtering tool as well... you don't want to be working with a doula who will judge your choices and there are definitely some weirdos out there who don't work with people who make choices they disagree with. 3. What led them to doula work? We love this question. For a lot of doulas, this work called to us after a birth of our own that either went really well or really not well. Keep an eye on this answer while looking for a unique red flag... a doula with their own birth trauma left to unpack might not be ready to be working quite yet. If their answer involves them making sweeping statements about how they believe birth should be natural, I would be wary of how they will be triggered by choices you make in your labor and that might affect the type of support you get from them. Doulas who "only attend homebirths" are also a red flag in my opinion. What happens if a client who chooses a homebirth needs to transfer to the hospital for the birth? Does that doula go? Most of these doulas that choose to limit their practice in this way do it out of a general distrust and fear of the hospital system and I worry how that would affect their care of a client who transfers. The last thing a transferring birthing person needs is to have a doula that they are concerned about "failing" in front of. 4. Training and Certification Eh. This one is not my favorite question. Certification looks shiny and a lot of us do like having an organization to call "home". As a trainer for one of those organizations, I have Big Feelings about what makes a training and certifying body "good". The trainings themselves are anywhere from 12-72 hours and certification requirements vary massively between organizations. Most organizations require that the doula attend 3-5 births and document them, as well as read a pile of books and report on them before granting certification. The real meat behind this question (to me) is "how well do you know this work?" and that question really is answered by their actual hands-on experience. How many births have they attended or how long have they worked in this field? Do they have EXTRA trainings that show their dedication to continuing their education? I suggest you get creative and ask them about the supplemental trainings they've taken recently. Things like lactation trainings, trainings in perinatal mood disorders, Spinning Babies positioning training, trainings in Grief and Loss, professional conferences, business trainings. There are a lot of trainings out there and doulas who are serious about this as a career will find them. The harsh reality about doula certification is that at it's roots, it was white women gatekeeping this profession and putting it behind a paywall. Most organizations require hefty annual membership dues and recertification fees. So if the doula at the top of your list has 15 years of experience, 200 births attended and was once certified but opted not to keep it, don't automatically count them out. Ask them why they opted not to re-certify. Quick red flags:
Don't ask: What's your philosophy about childbirth? Instead, ask them what they feel their philosophy about doula work is. Their philosophy about childbirth does not matter. They should be ready to adopt YOUR philosophy and help you use your voice to get what you need. Their belief about their role does matter though... they should not tell you that they are your advocate because they can't be. Doulas do not advocate for birthing people, we help you know when you can advocate for yourself and we make sure you have the space in which to use your voice to get your message across. Tl;dr: Here's what TO ask:
Oh.... SO many to choose from. I have compiled a list of my favorites and whenever possible, have featured authors of color. Go forth and READ!!! Pregnancy & Childbirth Nurture by Erica Chidi Cohen This is the #1 book on my list right now. It's my go-to shower gift and I honestly just love it. This is fresh, modern, honest and appeals to all birthing people no matter where or how they plan to birth. It was written by a Black doula and I can't recommend this highly enough! It leaves all parents feeling empowered and like they truly understand the mystery of pregnancy and birth.  Natural Pregnancy Guide, by Laurena White MD L.Ac. "Learn how to create the healthiest environment for your baby by eliminating potentially harmful habits and substances from your body and your surroundings wherever possible. This book is your safe, science-backed guide to deciding what your individual pregnancy and birth plan will look like―whether you want to give birth in a hospital, at home, or in a birthing center."  The Essential Homebirth Guide by Jane Drichta and Jodilyn Owen I'd be remiss if I didn't list the book written by two of my own midwives... Jane Drichta and Jodilyn Owen have walked beside me during two of my pregnancies and I loved watching them birth this bo. It's comprehensive, non-judgemental and downright funny in places. If you plan to have your kid at home, this is a MUST read.  The Birth Partner 5th Edition, by Penny Simkin and Katie Rohs Not *JUST* for partners and doulas, birthing people should read this if they are wanting to know the comprehensive anatomical side of labor and delivery. I'm also super biased with this one as Penny Simkin taught my first doula training and Katie Rohs is a neighbor and colleague. I'm thrilled that Katie teamed up with Penny for this latest edition and made this a gender-affirming book for pregnancy! Birth & Justice for All Families Birthing Justice, by Julia Oparah, Alicia Bonaparte "There is a global crisis in maternal health care for black women. In the United States, black women are over three times more likely to perish from pregnancy-related complications than white women; their babies are half as likely to survive the first year. Many black women experience policing, coercion, and disempowerment during pregnancy and childbirth and are disconnected from alternative birthing traditions. This book places black women's voices at the center of the debate on what should be done to fix the broken maternity system and foregrounds black women's agency in the emerging birth justice movement. Mixing scholarly, activist, and personal perspectives, the book shows readers how they too can change lives, one birth at a time."  Queering Family Trees, by Sandra Patton-Imani "Through the lens of reproductive justice, Patton-Imani argues that the federal legalization of same-sex marriage reinforces existing structures of inequality grounded in race, gender, sexuality, and class. Queering Family Trees explores the lives of a critically erased segment of the queer population, demonstrating that the seemingly “color blind” solutions offered by marriage equality do not rectify such inequalities." Infant Care and Feeding Free to Breastfeed: Voices of Black Mother, by Jeanine Valrie Logan, Anayah Sangodele-Ayoka "Facts about breastfeeding and statistics can be found in numerous pamphlets and with professional lactation consultants. However, there is no other book on the market that can give a new or expectant mother the experience of seeing her experience reflected in the stories and pictures of other women. While there is growing coverage to the disparities in breastfeeding rates, the actual thoughts and experiences of African-American nursing mothers are overlooked."  The Big Letdown, by Kimberly Seals Allers "Journalist and infant health advocate Kimberly Seals Allers breaks breastfeeding out of the realm of "personal choice" and shows our broader connection to an industrialized food system that begins at birth, the fallout of feminist ideals, and the federal policies that are far from family friendly. The Big Letdown uncovers the multibillion-dollar forces battling to replace mothers' milk and the failure of the medical establishment to protect infant health."  Safe Infant Sleep, by James McKenna Do you want to sleep in the same area or bed as your baby? Cool. You can do that safely! Equip yourself with the knowledge about safe cosleeping from the expert. ... then tell your judgey family and friends to stick it. Nicely. Or not nicely. Whatever suits you!  Latch: A Handbook for Breastfeeding with Confidence at Every Stage, Robin Kaplan M.Ed. IBCLC, Abby Theuring "In Latch, International Board-Certified Lactation Consultant, Robin Kaplan, addresses specific breastfeeding concerns, allowing you to feel empowered while breastfeeding and overcome challenges as they arise. After working with countless mothers who have felt unique in their breastfeeding challenges, and as the mother of two who overcame breastfeeding challenges of her own, she knows how deeply personal breastfeeding is." Postpartum Time The First Forty Days: The Essential Art of Nourishing the New Mother, by Heng Ou, Amely Greeven What? In Traditional Chinese Culture, new moms aren't allowed to leave the house for A MONTH?! ...cool, can we do that HERE? The US has a massive void of respect for the first 40 days. So let's learn to do it better.  A Taste Of Our Own Medicine: 3 Vital Keys To Ending Postnatal Depletion, Nurturing Mothers And Improving Communities, Danett C Bean DAAM "In this ground breaking book, Dr. Danett Bean, preventive care, women's health specialist, integrative medicine practitioner and survivor of postnatal depletion uncovers the roots to this phenomena as a societal issue and offers practical solutions to preventing and ending this condition. If you are an expectant or new mother, father or plan to be one someday, experienced parent, or you have parents that you care about in your life, you can't afford to not read this book. "  The Postpartum Depression Workbook, by Abigail Burd LCSW PMH-C "Becoming a mother is a huge transition. For some, the mood swings, the pressures, and the anxiety can be intense and overwhelming. One in five women will develop postpartum depression (PPD) after pregnancy―so if you’re struggling with PPD, know you’re not alone. This depression workbook is designed to help you navigate the transition to becoming the healthy and happy parent you want to be." Parenting Cribsheet: A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool, by Emily Oster "Armed with the data, Oster finds that the conventional wisdom doesn't always hold up. She debunks myths around breastfeeding (not a panacea), sleep training (not so bad!), potty training (wait until they're ready or possibly bribe with M&Ms), language acquisition (early talkers aren't necessarily geniuses), and many other topics. She also shows parents how to think through freighted questions like if and how to go back to work, how to think about toddler discipline, and how to have a relationship and parent at the same time. "  Simple & Safe Baby-Led Weaning, by Malina Malkani MS RDN CDN "Start your little one on solid foods the healthy way. Simple & Safe Baby-Led Weaning empowers you to help your baby feed themselves while they develop motor skills and an adventurous palate. Learn when to begin baby-led weaning and what to expect along the way while also getting practical advice for creating balanced, whole-food meals that your baby can eat alongside the rest of the family."  The Whole-Brain Child, by Daniel J. Siegel, Tina Payne Bryson "Complete with age-appropriate strategies for dealing with day-to-day struggles and illustrations that will help you explain these concepts to your child, The Whole-Brain Child shows you how to cultivate healthy emotional and intellectual development so that your children can lead balanced, meaningful, and connected lives." Unique Circumstances "Does This Pregnancy Make Me Look Fat", by Claire Mysko, Magali Amadeï "People might tell you you're glowing, but you just feel like you're growing, and perhaps you're not liking―or even recognizing--the changing image you see in the mirror. If you're like most expectant women, you're worried about what pregnancy and motherhood will do to your body, your sexuality, and your self-esteem (even if you don't want to admit it out loud for fear of the Bad Mommy Police). While the journey to motherhood is truly miraculous and brings forth life, it can also bring forth a myriad of legitimate concerns."  Give Birth a Chance: How to Prepare for an Empowered VBAC, by Ilia Blandina CNM "Don’t Talk Yourself Out of a VBAC! Do you have a deep desire to give vaginal birth after having had a c-section (VBAC)? If you know deep in your heart that our ancestors did quite well with natural birth and want to follow in their footsteps. If you know this path is a sacred one and you want to make it happen, but you don’t know where to begin. If you long for a vaginal birth. . . . It starts with this book!"  Cut, Stapled, and Mended, by Roanna Rosewood " 'At least you and the baby are healthy.' That’s what they said when they handed him to me. And they were right. Why then, so long after my body has healed, do I still feel broken? A whisper inside of me insists: Birth is more than a means to a baby. There was something I was supposed to do, something I was to receive through giving birth." In exquisite detail, Roanna holds nothing back in her powerful birth memoir, plunging the reader deep into the intimacy of this universal rite of passage. Part memoir, part manifesto, this is a must read for anyone who has given birth, will give birth, or who loves someone who will give birth."  When Survivors Give Birth: Understanding and Healing the Effects of Early Sexual Abuse on Childbearing Women, by Penny Simkin, Phyllis Klaus "When Survivors Give Birth is written for a mixed audience of maternity care professionals and para-professionals, mental health therapists and counselors, and women survivors and their families. The authors expertly and compassionately address the unusual and distressing challenges that arise for abuse survivors during the childbirth experience." THEIRstory Collections & Memoirs Red Medicine: Traditional Indigenous Rites of Birthing and Healing, by Patrisia Gonzales "Gonzales links pre-Columbian thought to contemporary healing practices by examining ancient symbols and their relation to current curative knowledges among Indigenous peoples. Red Medicine suggests that Indigenous healing systems can usefully point contemporary people back to ancestral teachings and help them reconnect to the dynamics of the natural world."  Our Births, Our Stories: Inspirational Home Births From Communities Around The World, by Heather Baker "This collection of birth stories shows the beautiful differences of how birth can unfold. These accounts are all home births, either assisted with a midwife or unassisted/ freebirths. The book includes natural breech births, twins, mothers who have had previous cesarean sections or trauma, family births, solo birthing, and how the mothers came to the decision of taking birth back into their own hands. It is truly an inspiring book. Perfect if you are looking to prepare yourself before your own home birth. It pairs perfectly with Home Birth on Your Own Terms manual."  How We Do Family, by Trystan Reese "In How We Do Family, Trystan shares their unique story and what he’s learned about being the best parent, partner, and person you can be. Through crisis, adoption, pregnancy—and all the usual challenges of parenting—Trystan shows that more important than getting things right is doing them with love."  Motherwit: An Alabama Midwife's Story, by Onnie Lee Logan, Katherine Clark ""Motherwit" and "common sense" were the watchwords of Onnie Lee Logan's career as a lay midwife in Mobile County, Alabama. Although she received little formal education, endured the Depression and faced a racist society, Onnie Lee Logan experienced her life as the triumphant fulfillment of a dream to be one of those who could bring babies into the world, as her mother and grandmother had done before her.Her story, told in the soft, now vanishing dialect of the Deep South, is powerful and fascinating oral history."  Motherhood So White, by Nefertiti Austin "Nefertiti Austin shares her story of starting a family through adoption as a single Black woman. In this unflinching account of her parenting journey, Nefertiti examines the history of adoption in the African American community, faces off against stereotypes of single Black moms, and confronts the reality of what it looks like to raise children of color and answer their questions about racism in modern-day America." My "Fuck No" Book/Author List Oooooo this is going to be good. I love Mommy Says Yes Day. It’s also known as Yes Day, Parents Say Yes Day, Daddy Says Yes Day... whatever you prefer. In our house, Matthew requests that he not be involved in the mayhem so it’s “MSYD” for us. Haha! This was born from a post my friend made in the summer of 2012 about giving her kids a “yes day”. It just so happened that 8/31 was coming up and that happened to be a Blue Moon and what better day to have as a “Yes Day”?! We were still feeling the sting of the divorce and my kiddos needed a day to be carefree and super happy. I explained it to Isabelle and Carlee who at the time were 6 and 3.5. Isabelle was completely shocked and it took a good few hours for it to sink in. “You’ll say yes to... anything?” she had said hesitantly. Carlee needed no pause. “CAN I HAVE ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST???” “Yes.” “CAN I USE A LOLLIPOP FOR A SPOON?” “...yes” Isabelle came in with, “can I have peas for breakfast?” “Yes”. Fuckin weirdo. Then she stuck a toe in the water, “Maybe I’ll have a lollipop after breakfast.” There’s my girl! Peas and ice cream were had and the day progressed. Eventually, we developed two sets of rules. “ABC and LMNOP” Always Be Considerate And Nothing: Loud Mean Naked Or Pricey. Those two rules pretty much give me the flexibility to veto anything really awful. It’s inconsiderate to sit and watch tv all day. It costs money to buy any kind of candy they want so I just make sure my cupboards are stocked with thinks I’m okay with them gorging on. It’s one day. The sugar-desires always start out huge but sugar isn’t a forbidden fruit in our house and they self regulate really well. They usually ask for a bizarre dinner and for one night, I am a short-order cook but it’s worth it. The first one was SUCH a success that we decided to make it a thing that happened every Blue Moon. Here we are 7 years later and my kids have yet to miss one... they know that the next blue moon is 10/31/20 and I’m a bit nervous about the sugar on that day but again, they self-regulate fairly well. In the past, we’ve had pre-planned outings and that helps with the SUPER crazy requests inside my house. Really though, this is an exercise in stopping and slowing down as a large, busy family. Saying “yes” to the most absurd little things that would normally exhaust me (“Can I play with play doh 10 minutes before bedtime?!”) bring so much joy to them. Even the things that would maybe embarrass more civilized parents (“Can I wear my pajamas to the mall?!”) make me smile because these little monsters are SO happy skipping along looking like a ragamuffin. I have in the past steered them towards things I wanted to do. For example, Baskin Robins has “.31 scoop day” on the 31st of every month and Blue Moons often fall on the 31st so that is super handy. My advice? Don’t think. Just do it. You won’t regret it and you’ll collapse after bedtime with a full heart. Here are some highlights:      Glad you asked!!! For this answer, we need to go back a long time ago (1994) to a galaxy far far away (Ballard). Picture an incredibly awkward 11 year old Kate. She didn’t have loads of friends and she was really “weird”. Her parents thought it would be cool to send this awkward preteen to a summer camp at a community center in Ballard where she didn’t know anyone other than her sisters. It turned out to be a brilliant idea... she could have a fresh start! This summer camp had an annual talent show and the boys she was hanging out with were going to do a mashup of Star Wars scenes. They needed someone to play "Princess Leia" and from the sounds of it, she wasn't really the stereotypical princess Kate first imagined. She’d heard of Star Wars, of course, she didn't live under a rock. She’d even seen a few scenes over the years. She joined up with the boys and asked to be Leia. The talent show was the highlight of her summer and she was hooked. She learned about the ways of the Force and she wore a white dress and put her short hair in the smallest little buns possible. She got to be Leia and she got to be Boushh. She went back home to start middle school with a confidence she hadn’t had at the beginning of the summer. She'd even achieved that classic tween goal of having a mutual crush on a boy and then he CALLED HER ON THE PHONE. It was the best summer of my awkward little life thus far. That Christmas, my mom gave me a boxed set of the original trilogy on VHS. To this day it’s one of my favorite gifts and most treasured possession. It was what I watched when I was sick and parked home on the couch in junior high and high school. While others watched "The Price is Right" on sick days, I joined rebel forces on Endor. It followed me to California when I joined AmeriCorps and helped me feel less homesick, it kept me company through my foot surgeries and two weeks of strict bedrest... twice. When Isabelle was born, John got me LEGO: Star Wars for the XBox and I had a way to pass the time with a small Isabelle nursing in my arms (she was born pre-smart phones). I balanced the her on the boppy on my wrists and played through all of the films as any character I wanted to be. The boxed trilogy followed me when I needed to gain confidence again. I sought the power of Leia as I navigated my divorce and life as a single mom. I sat in the cockpit of the Millenium Falcon and suddenly I wasn't totally by myself while I gestated a small Scarlett in my duplex alone. I incorporated Star Wars into my online dating profile as a way to filter out the duds. It worked better than I ever thought it would. I asked prospective suitors what their preferred SW viewing order was and waited for the replies. Most were actually “I’ve never seen them but I’ll watch them with you, hot stuff.” (BARF) Or “I start at episode 1 (🚨) and go up from there.” Or “I like the old ones so I start there and then watch the first three” (clearly someone googled). Basically I wanted to look for intelligent answers... someone who had actually put thought into it and men who didn’t include Episode 1 without a damn good reason. Matthew had the best answer. He introduced me to “machete order” and I was ready to walk down the aisle that day. More importantly, he asked me what my preferred viewing order was and didn’t automatically suspect that I’d stuck that question in there to falsely impress the geeks. He was impressed by my answer, the ice was broken and a bond was forged. Today is the day I get to watch the last episode of the 9 part Skywalker saga. I’m anticipating Leia’s death. I’m not ready for it but I never will be. It feels like losing an old friend or a beloved aunt. She saw me through so many dark times in my life and I am grief stricken at the thought of losing any new possibilities of her presence. I’ll always have “Empire Leia” though... tucked safely in its VHS box in my closet, untouched by George Lucas’ bullshit additions and completely lacking a slimy slithering CGI Jabba. She waits for the next dark time in my life, clad in her white puffy coat on Hoth, eye rolling at Han, directing the men and leading the rebellion with the strength that I always found lacking in cocky Anakin, whiny Luke and that spoiled brat Kylo. She is the heart of the saga for me and many others... may the force be with you, Leia (Skywalker) Organa, Princess of Alderaan and General of the Rebellion.  Well. Kinda. Every year I spend a good few hours at Costco.com making one. Then I print 50, stuff 20 and hand them out to whomever I see on Christmas Day. Let’s be real, most everyone I care about follows me and my crew on Facebook so a card would be pics they’ve already seen and a letter full of information they know. However, this year I saw someone write “brutally honest” Christmas letters so I decided to give it a go... If you want a copy, print it. You’re welcome. *~*~*~ holiday squiggles *~*~*~*~ Dewey-Rollins Christmas Letter 2019 Elijah: Age 4.5. Attends Gloria Dei Lutheran Pre-K where he’s learned to write his name in capital and lower case, and he’s learned that John the Baptist (aka “Jeebuses cousin”) ate crickets “just like my gecko!” He’s super into cheese omelettes lately and has a YouTube channel with one video of himself singing “Mamma Mia” that he watches constantly. His dream is to have a play date with Ryan from YouTube. If you don’t know who that is, consider yourself lucky. He’s a monstrously annoying 8 year old millionaire. Scarlett: Still missing two front teeth, the Dewey tooth fairy is definitely considering an IRA at this point. She’s excelling in third grade despite “talking a lot, all the time, whenever time is passing, to people who are ignoring her” according to teacher Mackenzie. Scarlett is pretty obsessed with her cat, Domino who won’t stop humping his brother, Pineapple, so we’re all excited for their kitty-ball-snipping surgery in January. Carlee: Ran for ASB class rep and won this year. Will run for President in 2044. Will cut you if you don’t vote for her. We’re equally proud and fucking terrified. She’s currently studying feminism and is one of the leaders of her schools “Pineapple cult” which we’re allowing because apparently anyone is invited as the the Pineapple is the international symbol for hospitality. Still doesn’t like sour cream. Jackson: Has spent less of this year grounded than last, so it’s a total win. He’s continuing to rock his hearing aids despite mom having Bluetooth access and randomly playing Disney songs from Spotify when she’s feeling punchy. He really enjoys books about kids who kill each other (“Last Kids on Earth” and “Hunger Games”) so we’ve decided he doesn’t need therapy any more, he’s got a healthy outlet for his frustrations of being 1 of 5. Isabelle: She totally “doesn’t” have a boyfriend and we totally “don’t” talk about it. She’s in her last year at Cascade K-8 which thrills her as she is VERY ready for high school but mom keeps weeping every time she says that so she’s stopped. Mostly. We got her an “anxiety Beta fish” this year and a little zebra snail named “Gary” to clean its tank but we’re pretty sure Gary died in transport. I haven’t checked. Isabelle is still our favorite. Don’t tell the others. Matthew and Kate: Still married. Still like each other. Are REALLY enjoying the no-baby phase of this life they share. Isabelle can babysit so they’ve made excellent use of Regal Theater’s Unlimited pass. They’re pretty sure Regal didn’t think that one through. Kate will see Star Wars:9 at least 10 times. Matt will let her if he knows what’s good for him. They’ve decided they’ll have one more baby if it ever becomes possible to gestate a Baby Yoda. *~*~*~ more holiday squiggles *~*~*~*~ We don’t have family photos done yet, so y’all get this. It’s my new favorite things and it makes me really REALLY happy to see this song get the ending it was always meant to have. EDITS: 1) Scarlett is in second grade. 2) Gary is dead. Isabelle scooped him out 2 months ago 3) My nominations for “Mother of The Year” hasn’t been revoked. God knows why.  Because it’s pointless.
5 kids means we wear a LOT of cotton. Cotton clothes could totally be folded but why would you do that?! I got really tired of looking in my kids’ drawers and seeing the clothes I had previously neatly folded now all caddywompus and fuckey. It also didn’t matter much if I had shirts in the shirt drawer and pants in the pants drawer, the kids could never keep it straight. So I looked into how people with a boatload of kids manage this and specifically, I looked at the Queen of Too-Many-Children, Michelle Duggar. They go as far as not even having specific clothes for each kid... they just have a “family closet” for their prairie skirts and polos. I wasn’t about to go that far but I liked the theory and in September of 2014 (when I was pregnant with Elijah and D O N E being functional while I gestated a human), I quit folding laundry. I ordered those 9-cube organizers for each kid and cloth bins. Then I printed labels for each cube, with an entire set made up of pictures because at that time, Scarlett couldn’t read. Short Sleeve Shirts, Long Sleeve Shirts, Pants, Shorts, Pajamas, Undies, Jackets, “Fancy Drawer”. As clean laundry exited the dryer, it was piled on a couch and whichever kid was on laundry duty that day sorted the clothes into piles by person, a pile of socks and a pile of linens. Linens were folded and put away, socks tossed in the “sock bench” and then the kid shouts “COME AND GET YOUR PILES!”. Each kid takes their pile to their room and sorts it by type into their square cloth bins. If they want it folded (they literally never did) they could do that themselves. Isabelle eventually got more fashionable teen clothing and opts to hang a lot of her tops. Matthew and I manage our own clothes however we want. He hangs. I occasionally put mine in drawers but there’s also a pretty consistent pile on my floor of clean clothes. Hey Kate, don't they all get wrinkled?! Oh they totally do... but that wasn’t different than before and I realized that with a wardrobe that is 98% cotton (and 2% sequin), the wrinkles were gone after sitting for 10 minutes on a 98.6 degree human. #NaturesIron I also quit matching and mating socks because seriously, who cares about socks?! Not my kids. Every sock is thrown in the “sock bench” and I started buying bulk white socks in the hopes of eventually not having to worry about mismatched socks but I’m not kidding when I say no one cares. But Kate, what about your socks? Well, okay, yeah... Matthew and I do care about matched socks. We mostly solve that by buying him black socks so they’re easy to spot in the sea of kid socks. My socks are nearly always bizarre. I have a lovely collection of weird socks that are fairly easy to identify. I often get asked how I manage to keep up with 5 kids and my first response is either “whiskey” to shut them up, or if the person asking is really looking for tips, I say “I stopped folding laundry 5 years ago” because I did and it was one of the best decision I’ve ever made. Because we're evil parents that force them to spend time with us off the grid with no technology... we also usually spend 3 days in the same pajamas. It's epic. Or, as our 4 year old says, "It's Effic". We don't correct him... it's damn cute and the last wisps of babyhood are leaving our home as slowly as humanly possible.
Q: What do we do for 3 days in a Yurt in the middle of the Cascades? A: Whatever we want. The yurt itself is not too tiny, and it has enough beds for all of us, an adorable wood-burning stove for warmth, electric blankets on all the beds, and a tiny little kitchen area that we use to cook meals in. There's a pit toilet down the way but the boys usually pee off the deck. *shrug* The Yurt also sits on the grounds of an active farm with goats and pigs, and those staying in the Yurt are welcome to feed their food scraps to the pigs!! This might be the best part for the kids... hopping into rain boots and running scraps out to the pigs. But not bacon scraps... we had a long discussion about that and decided that while the pigs would love it, it felt super wrong in our souls. We also try to incorporate a little bit of YurtMas in our YurtCation. I bring a few Christmas gifts for each kid to open, usually matching pajamas (thanks Target) and a book for each kid. This year I'm probably getting them some new board games too. Matthew brings his guitar, I bring my knitting, the kids bring art supplies and we just spend 3 days together with no outside interruption. We really, honestly, truly make it a "no-tech" get away. Matthew and I shut off our phones. (WHAT?! A doula shuts off her phone?! Calm yourself. I have a partner and she is amazing and why I'm able to do this.) . We don't let the kids bring Kindles or phones, and sometimes we bring a bluetooth speaker to play audiobooks on, but we don't really use it. I know it's a bit unconventional to do a getaway like this in December, and even more unusual to have it be no-tech. It's vital to us that we make this happen... especially in December. This is the time of year when we are super busy with events at school and our church, and the kids are like ping pong balls with the big girls going to their dads every other weekend and Jackson getting ready to visit his mom in Atlanta. We need this time to ground ourselves as a family and as people who love each other. I honestly wasn't sure how this would go last year when I did it, but the kids absolutely loved it. They have been asking all year if we're going back to our YurtCation and all of us are super excited to go back this year!!!   Location & Logistics:
Types of practitioners:
How do they treat Out-Of-Hospital transfers?
Cesarean rate through the years:
NICU level
Natural birth rating: I give it 4 out of 5 birth balls!!!
Policy on food for patients
Where is the nourishment?
Labor Tub Options and Review
Birth suite tips, and tools:
Partner accommodations
Doula friendly nurses?
Cesarean
Postpartum & Lactation:
Special Considerations
Yes, Yes I did. It's here under the Best GamerTag Ever Why on earth would I do such a thing and why would I broadcast it, and why would I tell my kids about it?! Two reasons: 1) Because I am sex-positive and will raise my kids not to fear vaginas, theirs or others. 2) I have a weak-ass pelvic floor and the video game I bought to strengthen my second-favorite lady part is super fun and I believe everyone who can should play it. Seriously, It's fun. So watch me play it! Or don't. You do you. Want to buy the game? It's called Perifit and no I don't get kickbacks from the company for telling you to go buy one. I get to fly a butterfly, a bird and a flappy bird WITH MY VAGINA. It's hilariously fun...   |
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